The Art of Shoop Da Whoop: Skunk FuShoopdawhoop
by TheCrazyPerson44
Summary: Skunk has practiced shooping da whoop for many years, and must fire his laser in the upcoming showdown with the monkeys. Can he learn how? And will the ultimate fate of the valley be decided by the Shoop Da Whoop deity himself?


It was a beautiful evening in the valley. It had been a long and tiring day for Master Panda and Skunk . Master Panda had been making Skunk go through rigorous training exercises, having him beat the snot out of monkey punching bags, catapulting over large hills, warrior meditations, all in preparation for a special moment in the life of every true conquering hero. The moment when the hero fires his laser.

"The monkeys are going to invade the valley any day now, and everyone in the meadow should know how to fire their laser, it is an important lesson every warrior should know" explained Master Panda.

"Master, Panda, I'm ready to learn how to fire my laser. I've done enough training already, I'm ready" said Skunk.

"Ahh, young one, I do believe you are correct, for once. Yes, although your stink attack wields great power, and your karate kicks are impressive, no attack delivers the message better than the firing of ones laser, the unleashing of ones full potential as a cosmic being, the all powerful last resort weapon, the coup de grace of fighting, wait, excuse me, it is referred to as The Shoop Da Whoop!" said Master Panda.

"Yes, Master, and I'm ready to learn it. I'll do whatever it takes, cuz I heard from my higher voice today that the monkeys are going to launch a full scale invasion tomorrow on the valley. I've gotta be ready Master, and I'll do anything to learn the most powerful last resort skill. Why haven't you taught me yet?" asked Skunk.

"I was worried you would use it recklessly. Because, as you should know by now, with great power comes great responsibility. I wouldn't want the whole valley to suffer the side effects of the shooping of your whoop" said Master Panda.

"What could possibly go wrong? Teach me how, teach me how" said Skunk. Master Panda stroked his fuzzy chin thoughtfully, and after taking a sip of iced tea, he finally decided to let Skunk in on the ultimate secret of the warrior, the art of shooping da whoop. He turned towards Skunk, smirked at him, and pulled open a book and began reading it.

"Whosever desires to fire ones laser, must first take a deep breath, and concentrate on all of your abilities. Imagine your talents and skills fusing together into a powerful beam of omnipotent light. Then hold for three seconds, fuse up the power within, sway back and forth for three additional seconds, exhale, breathe in again, and when you exhale the second time, your laser will burst out of your mouth, proudly displaying its glory, destroying anything and anyone in its path, and rendering it powerless. Shoop Da Whoop should be used with caution and carefulness, for it never fails! The shooping of the whoop is one of the most ancient offensive attack moves of all time! The beauty is that anyone can learn how. Now follow the instructions I read to you from that book, and begin" said Master Panda.

1 half hour later….

"I just can't seem to shoop my whoop, Master Panda. I've tried everything" said Skunk.

"Do not give up hope, young one. You almost did it, you just didn't reach the epic win state of consciousness. Rabbit and Fox have known the art of shoop da whoop for years, perhaps being in their presence alone will help you unlock your potential" said Master Panda. So with dejected eyes, Skunk walked through the forest feeling hopeless and depressed. He saw Rabbit and Fox sitting on a log near the pond.

"Hi Skunk, dude, whuzzup?" asked Rabbit.

"I'm worried about the upcoming showdown tomorrow with the monkeys!" said Skunk.

"Oh really, why is that?" asked Fox.

"I can't seem to shoop the whoop. I tried shooping da woop, I could get to the shooping but not the whooping, if you follow" said Skunk. Rabbit groaned.

"Man, you are such a noob!" said Rabbit.

"Nah, don't be so rough on the little guy. Remember when we first shoop da whooped? It wasn't all flowers and candy for us the first time either! For me, anyway, I mean it was exhilarating and all, we burned lots of calories, but it was slightly painful, for me, that is!" said Fox. Rabbit rolled his eyes.

"I think you're thinking of some other thing we did once" said Rabbit.

"Oh, you're right. Sorry!" said Fox looking embarresed.

"Yeah, whatever Fox, stop taking those new allergy meds. But anyway, shoop da whoop is childs play, he's a frickin' noob. I shoop da whoop just for the heck of it, so I can destroy everything in my path. I especially like damaging the environment. Here, I'll show ya how it's done" said Rabbit. Rabbit sat down in the lotus position, concentrating hard and breathing slowly, inhaling and exhaling. Eventually, he felt his energy charging up, and he unleashed his laser, it sent Skunk flying all the way to the other end of the meadow. Skunk was so angry, that he did the same, and finally unleashed his laser, for the first time, with little effort, from a mile away. It collided with Rabbits laser, and they interlocked, both trying to be more powerful than the other. Skunks laser overcame Rabbits laser, and sent Rabbit flying off into the wild blue yonder. But Fox, who was a good runner, caught him in her arms in the nick of time.

"Nice catch," said Rabbit gazing into Fox's eyes. "You've got lots of skills, I like that in a woman."

"Thanks, I guess" replied Fox. Skunk used teleportation skills to get back to where Rabbit and Fox were, and he approached them with a very happy satisfied look on his face.

"I finally did it guys. Those ninja monkeys won't know what hit them" said Skunk.

"Are you kidding me? I couldn't believe it, I couldn't have done better myself. That raw pure natural manly shoop da whoop energy was way more powrful than any stink attack could ever be. We may have a new Shoop Da Whoop master on our hands" said Rabbit. Skunk smiled.

"But you'll never be as good a runner as I am" said Fox in a jovial joking way. Skunk laughed.

The next day…..

The army of highly trained combat specialist ninja monkeys invaded the valley. But the unsuspecting monkeys were about to get a taste of the combined shooping da whoop skills of Skunk, Rabbit, Master Panda, and Fox. They fired their lasers, and wiped out lots of the monkeys. 1/3rd of them in fact. But the monkeys could shoop da whoop too. After much battling and laser firing, the Shoop Da Whoop deity himself came down, and demolished the entire valley, shaking up the earth, and opening up a portal to another dimension. The baddies fell into the depths of the earth, but the good guys, Skunk, Rabbit, Fox and Master Panda were sucked into the portal, into the FTW dimension, because only good guys can achieve true epic wins, the bad guys only get epic fails. Skunk and the gang felt disoriented. They woke up, and found themselves in an unusual place that looked like a beautiful cave, hollowed out entirely in limestone. They saw a bunch of robed raccoon ascended master mystics holding orbs and smiling at them. There was a leader, sitting on a throne, and many statues of the Shoop Da Whoop deity.

"My name is Randal. Welcome to the realm of Epic Win. You may stay here, play video games, drink lemonade, and eat good food, and in the meantime we will work on fixing your dimension back to its original pristine state! Enjoy" said Randall the leader raccoon, seated on his throne of awesomeness.

"Woah, cool, Hotel FTW, for the win. An epic win, that is. We couldn't have gotten here without our combined talents, right?" asked Skunk.

"No, actually it was because the Shoop Da Whoop deity saw your talents, he saw that they were greater than that of the monkeys, and so he raptured you all and brought you here. The monkeys however, fell into the depths of the underworld, and are currently plotting revenge" said the leader raccoon.

"Cool, can we see what they're up to?" asked Skunk.

"Yes, pull up a chair, gaze into my crystal ball, and eat some caramel popcorn" said the leader.

"Mmm, caramel popcorn" said Fox. "I could go for that any day"

"Yes, me too" said Master Panda. "But who crowned this poser king of the mystic masters, when I should be given that title? I even had a movie made all about me!"

"That movie Kung Fu Panda was NOT about you" said Rabbit rolling his eyes.

"Okay, I did not hear any of that, thank god" said the leader raccoon. "Anyway, yes, you can come over here and watch the plans of the evil ones if you wish…OMG, they're creating a Shoop Da Whoop of their own! An Anti-Shoop Da Whoop! The next battle will be the ultimate epic showdown" declared Randall.

"Will it be on pay-per view?" asked Skunk.

"Yes, it will be in the 100's and it will be the WTF FTW Championship Fight, exclusively on the LMAO channel! It will be all over the various interwebs as well" said Randall the raccoon leader.

"Well, when will it take place?" asked Skunk.

"Not for another thousand years, most likely, but possibly in 2012, when the Mayan Calendar ends" said Randall the leader raccoon.

"Oh, I see. Well in the meantime, I'm gonna crack open an ice cold root beer, and relax" said Skunk.

"Yes, I believe that is what we should all do," said Randall, with a chuckle. So they relaxed, and awaited the apocalyptic battle between Shoop Da Whoop and the Anti-Shoop Da Whoop.

The End


End file.
